In an effort to avoid burdening anyone and at the cost of almost every relationship I’ve ever had, I’ve learned to disappear at the drop of a hat. The trick to being eternally lovable is to vanish as soon as someone has perceived you as a conduit to their heart or a vessel for their impropriety. Either of those roles are sustainable - humanness is not. When I decide someone is getting sick of me I beat them to the punch and stop existing. Take that idiot.
Proof is an apology to those I’ve pushed away as soon as they started to know me. I wanted to offer a peak into my ridiculous logic: believing I could read their minds, expecting them to read mine, etc. Learning to stick around has been a gift.
Here are the lyrics:
To be loved like a child’s toy or cigarette
is to die a funny feeling in a chest
The girls bleed and drape over the recliner
You breathe slow in the dark
letting pass every spark
counting on me to catch eyes like fire
but you don’t know me bitch
You don’t know me bitch
The front door nods like an old plug
ignitions lull with a hum
and just when you thought you could trust me to leave
You don’t know me bitch
You don’t know me bitch
I wished for you to read my mind
I wanted you to come and find
me waiting in the foyer for you
and when you weren’t thereI made out of thin air
what would bear resemblance to proof
that you don’t know me bitch
You don’t know me bitch